A letter to new puppy parents

Written By Julia Thiel

I recently gave a lot of advice to a friend who just got a puppy and I thought it might make for a good first blog post, too. So here goes.

Dear New Puppy Parent,

Congratulations on your new baby! Bringing a puppy into your life is a joyful, exhausting, and deeply important commitment. From this day forward, you are stepping into the role of your puppy’s parent—the one who keeps them safe, teaches them about the world, and helps them grow into a confident, happy adult dog.

In the wild, puppies often stay with their mothers for up to nine months or more. During that time, their mom rushes to every little whine, tends to their every need, and slowly introduces them to new experiences. When we adopt puppies at 8–12 weeks, we are asking them to leave that safe nest early.

That means it’s our job to take over that role of their parent, and tend to them with patience, love, and care.

Here are a few guiding principles to keep in mind as you raise your puppy:

1. Safety and Trust Must Come First

  • Never punish, scold, or yell. The first year of your puppy’s life should be all about feeling safe. Even when they’re chewing shoes, barking at nothing, or bouncing off the walls—they are learning and depending on you to guide them kindly.

  • Think of raising a puppy like raising a child. You wouldn’t expect a toddler to “obey” first—you focus on building confidence, safety, and trust. Dogs are no different.

2. Rest, Calm, and Growing Bodies

  • Puppies need 18–20 hours of sleep every day. If your puppy is acting wild, they probably need more rest, not more exercise.

  • Never wake a sleeping puppy. Growth and learning happen while they sleep.

  • Too much exercise too young can harm bones and joints for life. Avoid excessive running, forced fetch, or repetitive impact games.

  • Mental work (sniffing, exploring, puzzle toys, gentle training games) is healthier and actually more tiring than physical exercise.

3. Gentle Tools and Handling

  • Always use a well-fitted harness, not a collar, to protect the neck and spine and prevent musculoskeletal pain later in life.

  • Never yank on the leash. If your puppy pulls, simply stop and wait. A long line (not retractable) gives them safe freedom to explore.

  • Learning to sit quietly with you, simply relaxing together, will be one of the most valuable life skills you give them.

4. Slow Introductions to a Big World

  • Everything is new to your puppy—cars, people, stairs, the vacuum cleaner, the dark. Go slow, slow, slower.

  • Introduce new experiences gently and one at a time. A single moment of fear can leave a lasting mark. Confidence grows gradually, with your support.

  • Think of how you treated your human baby: you didn’t take them to crowded bars, keep them up late, or let them “cry it out.” The same rules apply here. Comfort them, guide them, protect them.

5. Communication and Choices

  • Learn to “speak dog.” Read body language, notice stress signals, and respond to what your puppy is telling you.

  • Barking, whining, chewing—these behaviors always have a reason. Instead of asking “How do I stop this?” ask “What is my puppy trying to tell me?”

  • Offer choices whenever you can: which toy to play with, which direction to sniff on a walk, where to rest. We control so much of their lives—bathroom breaks, feeding times, even when they sleep. Small freedoms help puppies build confidence and happiness.

6. Training Through Relationship

  • Don’t worry about obedience and tricks first. A puppy doesn’t need to know “sit” before they know they are safe.

  • If you ask for something and your puppy looks stressed, confused, or scared—ask yourself if it’s truly necessary in that moment. If yes, break it down and go slower.

  • When trust, respect, and love are in place, training flows naturally.

In Closing

Raising a puppy isn’t about control or instant obedience. It’s about nurturing a little being through their most vulnerable stage of life. Your puppy is not here to seamlessly fit into your schedule—they are a complex, emotional, living being who depends on you for safety, comfort, and understanding.

Keep this mantra close:

Calm. Sleep. Safety. Love.

Give your puppy those things, and you’re setting them up to be a joyful, well-adjusted companion for life.

Recommended Reading

You might ask yourself why all of these books below are by the same author, and to that I say that this 87 year-old woman from Norway has worked with dogs and horses all of her life, and of probably over 100 books about dogs have read at this point, her approach is not only the easiest to understand and practice, it also simply makes the most sense. 

“How to raise a puppy: a dog-centric approach” - Stephanie Rousseau & Turid Rugaas

“On talking terms with dogs” - Turid Rugaas

“Barking: The sound of a language” - Turid Rugaas

“My dog pulls, what do I do?” - Turid Rugaas

“How to build a puppy into a healthy adult dog” - Julia Robertson

With love and encouragement,

—Julia

Julia Thiel